Seasons of Stuff

Following a 2 hour early Spring hike (OK, stroll) through the glorious Garvan Woodland Gardens near my hometown recently, I started thinking about seasons. Seasons of the Earth, Seasons of Life, and yes – based upon my passion and profession – Seasons of Stuff.  We humans have a natural ebb and flow to our lives – the ups and downs, new and old, exciting and tedious – all brought on by our years, circumstances, and perceptions. 

 This is way beyond my level of philosophy/literature/spirituality/psychology knowledge to address, but my experience has uncovered another surprising Season – the Seasons of Stuff. Of course I’m generalizing wildly here, but it seems that most people react to and deal with their possessions in a somewhat orderly way through the progression of their lives.

Tiny children begin their acquiring early – saying “mine” and requiring strong incentives to share their toys. Parents, teachers, civilization and bigger kids teach the sharing thing along the way, but we never give up our desire for the new and shiny. I’ve observed that kids between about 3 and 8 are natural collectors and organizers. Ever notice how young boys in particular like to line up and organize their rocks/army men/leggos? Encourage this whenever you see it – trust me, it usually doesn’t last.

Suddenly OMG it all changes. Teens require the necessary stuff (clothes, electronics) to fit in, but also move into the fiercely interpersonal stage of life. They care much less about the appearance of their room at home and the precious souvenirs Mom has carefully saved for them – now it’s all about their friends. Generally, parents will have a happier life if they’ve given their offspring a base of understanding about organizing, prioritizing, setting boundaries, etc. early on. Just shut their bedroom door from age 10 till they leave home. Seriously, even as a professional organizer I have no sure-fire methods for getting a teenager to clean up their room….at least none that are free of constant negotiation/nagging. Decide if it’s worth it – just keep the health department at bay and try to focus on their good points for a few long years.

Then they have their own place and serious Nesting sets in – especially the young women. Again, I see this as a natural Season. Whatever their plans for marriage, family, career, they pretty much want more and more stuff to build and declare their own place and life. I mentioned ebb and flow, and this is a point where I get many clients– the young families who are having trouble managing that nest with all the pretty and necessary stuff. As primary targets for advertisers and peer pressures, they can end up with so many things that they run out of space and time (and sometimes money) to live their actual lives.

At some point this all comes to halt for most people– maybe when the last child leaves home, or when retirement starts to beckon and downsizing is suddenly an alluring goal. Now the desire is freedom and simplicity. Not a Spartan life by any means, but one that requires less time and maintenance. Dusting and storing and insuring masses of things is less interesting than travel or golf or grandchildren.

Finally I see seniors who are very attached to those souvenirs and photos – the memories of their Seasons of life. When they have space and a plan for disposition of their things that aligns with friends and family it’s perfect. And natural - and Seasonal.

No big lesson here, but maybe just knowing what to expect will help you on your path to your best life.